Full of Complex Carbohydrates and MicroNutrients

I am a novelty to many (and I'm fine with that).
I have a very silly sense of humor usually riddled with malapropisms (and I'm fine with that, too).
I ask too many questions of Life and I expect all the answers.
I trust people too easily when I shouldn't; however, I respect everyone regardless…unless they do something to make me think twice.
I don't cheat. I am tactful yet will give the truth up front (and never mean to hurt anyone's feelings with it).
I like to help the people who have helped me, and even those who have not.
I never forget... but sometimes I misplace things.
I never lose hope.
I am awesomely blessed for the people who have come into my life, and I am blessed for the people who have left because I realize I didn't need them anyway.
I honestly feel that laughter is the best medicine you can have.
I believe in being strong when everything else seems to be going wrong.
I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles. In other words, I'm human, and definitely not perfect.
But tomorrow is another day, and there's so much cheese to be had...
(thank you to Ranae S. for this bit of inspiration!)

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Everyone, get up and dance now!

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Dear 2012: A Humble Letter of a Few Tiny Requests to the New Year

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Dear 2012,

Hello, you may not know me (yet) but I get the feeling that in a short matter of time, we'll be great friends with no way to end our friendship until the bitter end.

Though I loved and had great ambitions with my aging friend 2011, it is with the saddest regret that our time together is drawing to a close. 2011 started off with a bang but whimpered and fizzled out in a big way that has not only disappointed me, but all of 2011's collective friends and enemies alike. We freely admit, with some smugness, that we are happy to be rid of you! You had rotten manners, you did a lot of mean things, and frankly, I can sum it all up by saying, you stunk. Go away, ca-ca year, we don't like you any more.

A few requests will be asked for with the utmost graciousness to you, oh 2012. These requests, as I have said, are tiny, but in my own estimation, ginormous in their scope; so please hear me out! They are:

1. No more deaths in my immediate family. Though I'm strong, capable and tough as tooled leather (and philosophical as all get-out), I'm a wee bit sick to freakin' death of death right now, and would appreciate it if you could just stop it for a minute, please. Make that, for a year. Yeah, that will work. A girl needs a little break in the action sometimes, y'know.

2. Send a really cool job my way. Yeah, I know, I rejected so many chances at "gainful employment" over the past five years or so, but it was because I was on my semi-retired sabbatical type thingamajig... whatever it's called. You know, the break in the action where I got to stay at home for the most part, and "find myself" aka do my art, write endless hours of jabbering verbiage, garden, and eat till I gained 20 extra pounds. Well, it wasn't *all* my fault (though I will be a big person and admit, most of it was), a lot of it was due to my having gone through menopause (gag). Anyway, that's a digression; back to the point of a job. I've had my little jaunt in the retail sector, and for the most part, can safely say that it is out of my system now for good. A return from whence I came (publishing, editorial, art) is humbly requested. You'll note I was on the computer this morning at 7-ish and the resulting fruits of my labor being the 13 or so resumes and accompanying lengthy cover letters stating that I do indeed meet and exceed their criteria for getting the job done and that I am the best candidate for the position yada yada YADA...

3. The winning lottery numbers. Please. Ok, even a minor amount will help right now. And, yes, I know, it's shallow of me to request it, but I figure that even a minor payout of only a few million will be put to the best use ever. At the least, I just want to pay off the house and our new truck in one fell swoop and be done with it, plus pay off all my loved one's debts so they could start the new year off fresh. And then donate huge barrel-fulls to worthy organizations like those who help rescue animals. Lastly, Mama's got her eyes on a fancy-shmancy pair of shoes right now that are sadly not in the budget, so if I had a few more pennies, I could strut proudly wearing my glossy new shoes and feel like a happy peacock (um, perhaps in my case, cuz I'm a girlie type person, it would be a pea hen, then?).

4. Can we all just get along, please. Yes, we can attribute that quote to Rodney King, but I think it was a plea heard 'round the world and felt deeply by many. As children, we were taught to play nice, share our toys, and say 'please' and 'thank you' when offered a cookie. I'm sick of adults behaving badly, and really, all kidding aside, it's ridiculous to witness this shit in the news each day. Like the Hubby and I always say, it's the flaw in the human software (aka: greed and selfishness) that is to blame for so many of the world's woes.

5. Less pain, more flexy. I've lived by my online motto for years and mean it with every shred of my being (Growing Older is Mandatory; Growing Up is Optional) but just wish that growing older didn't have to hurt so much. I realize I'll never have my 25 year old body again, and that's fine, but can my 51 year old body please not hurt so damn much?           

6. More cookies. My most logical and simple request. Who can be angry and hateful when enjoying a mouthful of chocolate chip cookie? One that has just been taken, freshly baked, from the oven, still soft, warm, and chewy-gooey. Oh yes, if I could bake the World a cookie, I surely would, and deliver it with all of its delectable, mind-altering, heart-and-soul-salving properties to all the heads of state, and watch as their hatred diminished, their eyes became large as one of those soulful characters' eyes from a Bob Keane oil painting, and many issuances of yummy sounds emanated from their lips as crumbs dropped onto their pressed shirts and chocolate smeared their lapels and ties... and they would then wonder just why in the heck they were so angry for in the first place, as they dipped the cookie into a big glass of cold milk before stuffing another hunkin' bite into their mouths. Yep, everyone gets a cookie, and is allowed seconds if they desire it. I believe in the magical, curative powers of chocolate chip cookies, and again, wish the World to enjoy more of them this year. 

Happy New Year, everyone. Talk care, stay safe, sane, and healthy. And share a cookie with one another every so often, ok? It will make you feel really good inside. Trust me on this.

Here is a super-yummy recipe for chocolate chip cookies, from Desserts Wikia. Enjoy! And check out all their other delightful recipes when you have a chance, too. You won't regret it (unless you binge, like I do, then, yes, you'll have regrets).            
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