Dear 2012: A Humble Letter of a Few Tiny Requests to the New Year

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Dear 2012,


Hello, you may not know me (yet) but I get the feeling that in a short matter of time, we'll be great friends with no way to end our friendship until the bitter end.

Though I loved and had great ambitions with my aging friend 2011, it is with the saddest regret that our time together is drawing to a close. 2011 started off with a bang but whimpered and fizzled out in a big way that has not only disappointed me, but all of 2011's collective friends and enemies alike. We freely admit, with some smugness, that we are happy to be rid of you! You had rotten manners, you did a lot of mean things, and frankly, I can sum it all up by saying, you stunk. Go away, ca-ca year, we don't like you any more.

A few requests will be asked for with the utmost graciousness to you, oh 2012. These requests, as I have said, are tiny, but in my own estimation, ginormous in their scope; so please hear me out! They are:

1. No more deaths in my immediate family. Though I'm strong, capable and tough as tooled leather (and philosophical as all get-out), I'm a wee bit sick to freakin' death of death right now, and would appreciate it if you could just stop it for a minute, please. Make that, for a year. Yeah, that will work. A girl needs a little break in the action sometimes, y'know.

2. Send a really cool job my way. Yeah, I know, I rejected so many chances at "gainful employment" over the past five years or so, but it was because I was on my semi-retired sabbatical type thingamajig... whatever it's called. You know, the break in the action where I got to stay at home for the most part, and "find myself" aka do my art, write endless hours of jabbering verbiage, garden, and eat till I gained 20 extra pounds. Well, it wasn't *all* my fault (though I will be a big person and admit, most of it was), a lot of it was due to my having gone through menopause (gag). Anyway, that's a digression; back to the point of a job. I've had my little jaunt in the retail sector, and for the most part, can safely say that it is out of my system now for good. A return from whence I came (publishing, editorial, art) is humbly requested. You'll note I was on the computer this morning at 7-ish and the resulting fruits of my labor being the 13 or so resumes and accompanying lengthy cover letters stating that I do indeed meet and exceed their criteria for getting the job done and that I am the best candidate for the position yada yada YADA...

3. The winning lottery numbers. Please. Ok, even a minor amount will help right now. And, yes, I know, it's shallow of me to request it, but I figure that even a minor payout of only a few million will be put to the best use ever. At the least, I just want to pay off the house and our new truck in one fell swoop and be done with it, plus pay off all my loved one's debts so they could start the new year off fresh. And then donate huge barrel-fulls to worthy organizations like those who help rescue animals. Lastly, Mama's got her eyes on a fancy-shmancy pair of shoes right now that are sadly not in the budget, so if I had a few more pennies, I could strut proudly wearing my glossy new shoes and feel like a happy peacock (um, perhaps in my case, cuz I'm a girlie type person, it would be a pea hen, then?).

4. Can we all just get along, please. Yes, we can attribute that quote to Rodney King, but I think it was a plea heard 'round the world and felt deeply by many. As children, we were taught to play nice, share our toys, and say 'please' and 'thank you' when offered a cookie. I'm sick of adults behaving badly, and really, all kidding aside, it's ridiculous to witness this shit in the news each day. Like the Hubby and I always say, it's the flaw in the human software (aka: greed and selfishness) that is to blame for so many of the world's woes.

5. Less pain, more flexy. I've lived by my online motto for years and mean it with every shred of my being (Growing Older is Mandatory; Growing Up is Optional) but just wish that growing older didn't have to hurt so much. I realize I'll never have my 25 year old body again, and that's fine, but can my 51 year old body please not hurt so damn much?           

6. More cookies. My most logical and simple request. Who can be angry and hateful when enjoying a mouthful of chocolate chip cookie? One that has just been taken, freshly baked, from the oven, still soft, warm, and chewy-gooey. Oh yes, if I could bake the World a cookie, I surely would, and deliver it with all of its delectable, mind-altering, heart-and-soul-salving properties to all the heads of state, and watch as their hatred diminished, their eyes became large as one of those soulful characters' eyes from a Bob Keane oil painting, and many issuances of yummy sounds emanated from their lips as crumbs dropped onto their pressed shirts and chocolate smeared their lapels and ties... and they would then wonder just why in the heck they were so angry for in the first place, as they dipped the cookie into a big glass of cold milk before stuffing another hunkin' bite into their mouths. Yep, everyone gets a cookie, and is allowed seconds if they desire it. I believe in the magical, curative powers of chocolate chip cookies, and again, wish the World to enjoy more of them this year. 

Happy New Year, everyone. Talk care, stay safe, sane, and healthy. And share a cookie with one another every so often, ok? It will make you feel really good inside. Trust me on this.

Here is a super-yummy recipe for chocolate chip cookies, from Desserts Wikia. Enjoy! And check out all their other delightful recipes when you have a chance, too. You won't regret it (unless you binge, like I do, then, yes, you'll have regrets).            

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Clown Power!

How to kick the KKK's flabby old ass: with LAUGHTER!

Upon my early morning coffee/Internet perusal hour, I happened upon this news story from '07. A collection of Sad and Ignorant Outcasts (aka the KKK) tried to organize a hate rally in downtown Knoxville, TN. A group of people dressed like clowns arrived on the scene, and gave them a hilarious run for their money! I salute them, both for their brave unwillingness to allow such outdated dogma to spew, and for their use of the power of love and laughter to overcome!
(I cut & pasted this report directly from the Neatorama site - full credit and link are at the end of this post)



Unfortunately for [VNN] the 100th ARA (Anti Racist Action) clown block came and handed them their asses by making them appear like the asses they were.


Alex Linder, the founder of VNN and the lead organizer of the rally, kicked off events by rushing the clowns in a fit of rage, and was promptly arrested by 4 Knoxville police officers who dropped him to the ground when he resisted and dragged him off past the red shiny shoes of the clowns. http://www.volunteertv.com/home/headlines/7704982.html


“White Power!” the Nazi’s shouted, “White Flour?” the clowns yelled back running in circles throwing flour in the air and raising separate letters which spelt “White Flour”.


“White Power!” the Nazi’s angrily shouted once more, “White flowers?” the clowns cheers and threw white flowers in the air and danced about merrily.


“White Power!” the Nazi’s tried once again in a doomed and somewhat funny attempt to clarify their message, “ohhhhhh!” the clowns yelled “Tight Shower!” and held a solar shower in the air and all tried to crowd under to get clean as per the Klan’s directions.


At this point several of the Nazi’s and Klan members began clutching their hearts as if they were about to have a heart attack. Their beady eyes bulged, and the veins in their tiny narrow foreheads beat in rage. One last time they screamed “White Power!”


The clown women thought they finally understood what the Klan was trying to say. “Ohhhhh…” the women clowns said. “Now we understand…”, “WIFE POWER!” they lifted the letters up in the air, grabbed the nearest male clowns and lifted them in their arms and ran about merrily chanting “WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER!”



And in parting, I quote freely from Mark Twain, whose unfinished book, 'The Mysterious Stranger', summed it up perfectly, over one hundred years ago:



"Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them--and by laughing at them destroy them?
"For your race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weapon--laughter. Power, Money, Persuasion, Supplication, Persecution--these can lift at a colossal humbug,--push it a little-- crowd it a little--weaken it a little, century by century: but only Laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast.
Against the assault of Laughter nothing can stand."
-Mark Twain, 'The Mysterious Stranger'


http://www.neatorama.com/2007/09/03/clowns-kicked-kkk-asses/

Where have I been?

Working a part-time job that has turned into more of a full-time one has kept me from my regularly scheduled blogging sprees! This will soon change, however, as I'll be returning to a shorter work week in the days to come.

The recent flood suffered here in Nashville has affected us all very deeply in so many ways. I cannot begin to express the sadness I've felt at the overall devastation throughout the state. Highway 70 in Bellevue was finally reopened after being closed off due to not only the high waters, but for several large sections of hillside that collapsed onto the road and into the Harpeth River. 

Spooky thing is that I had been talking to Mark about this concern maybe a week or so before it happened. I'd noticed that there was a section of the highway that had a jagged strip down the center which had been patched and repaired with asphalt that paralleled a huge overhang of rocky cliffs, and it gave me a really  bad feeling each time I drove over it. I said to him that all it would need was a good, heavy rain to soak the road and hill... and that is exactly what happened.

Driving down the reopened stretch of highway was heartbreaking. There is about a mile or so of homes near the Harpeth that were completely destroyed. As I drove home from work on Saturday, May 15th - me and Mark's 5th wedding anniversary - I burst into tears as I saw huge piles of mud-soaked furniture, tangled belongings, torn out walls and appliances, children's toys, shrapnel of all sorts.... just for as far as the eye could see. Homeowners with face masks and gloves were outside, piling up what was left of their homes... of their lives... onto the edge of their ruined properties near the highway, waiting for the city to come pick up the discards. 

I had wanted to blog about this, too, but the grief was too great. Each day I've cried at the tragedy, but as the town is slowly rebuilding and getting stronger, I too am gaining back my sense of strength. The human spirit continues to grow as Nashville citizens step up to help out and contribute. It does my heart a world of good! No wonder they call this "The Volunteer State!" 

But I'll never forget the nice, white-haired old man who came into our shop a few days after the rains stopped, whistling a happy tune and smiling broadly at me. I asked if I could help him find something, to which he replied he was looking for a special toy for a special puppy. Having chosen one, I brought him to the cash register and started general conversation with him: "Were you affected by the flood?" to which he responded, very point-blank, "Yes. I lost everything, but was able to save my dog."

His almost casual response took me by complete surprise, and I instantly looked into his bright, sparkly blue eyes, which only lost their happy sheen for but a split second. I felt like I was going to burst into tears, but struggled to keep composed as I apologized profusely to him and walked him to his car, wishing him well and offering blanket words of comfort like "It will get better from here" and "one door shuts, another opens" and the like, all feeling hollow in my own ears. This poor man lost it all in the flood, but still retained his sense of humor and had an optimistic heart for the future... and all he wanted to do was to buy a new toy for his beloved doggie. I was overwhelmed with emotions.

I walked back into the store, quietly made my way to the rear restroom where I shut the door and sat for ten minutes, bawling my eyes out.

Happy New Year, Everyone

We're turning a fresh blank page at the onset of a whole new chapter. I know I can count so many among you who wish for positive change in the World. May 2010 be the beginning of an era of true peace and love.


All the best to you and yours!


Love & light,
Ellie